3/05/2009

God is Love



Photo by Amber Iragui

So My friend Amber took this photo a few months back, when we were on our nightly walk to feed the horses down the street. The photo doesn't exactly fit with what I want to say--but it is so lovely that I couldn't resist posting it.

God is love. I am always trying to rearrange my thoughts around this idea, because if God is love, than one can't help but see things differently. If nothing else, the thought helps me back to a place of gratitude, helps me to look for something good again, in the midst of all my struggles.

Sometimes it's harder than others to remember this. Today marked the second week of the flu infestation at our home. Both kids are still sick, my husband is limping along, and I seem to have developed a sinus infection. I've been seeing a naturapathic doctor lately, who has put me on the most vile set of potions--herbal antibiotics and sinus relief. They taste like ear wax, only worse.

Add to this the fact that our disposal has a serious clog--and neither it or nor the dishwasher are working as a result, and last night, a log came crashing through our fireplace door and shattered the glass.

These are just the kinds of problems I was hoping to have, he first week of lent and on auction eve, the day before our house is supposed to pass back into the hands of the bank.

Anyway, I was still in that dark place, trying to figure out how to fix the fireplace door and the dishwasher and disposal, when my neighbor Cory sent a text message, saying, "I still haven't 4got you. Lentil soup in the crock pot." Just this small act of kindness was enough to begin to tug me out of despair.

But before I had a chance to pick up the lentil soup, another neighbor drove up the driveway, with a lovely meal of stirfry and rice and a bag of lemons from her tree. I could not believe that on this day, when I was still so sick, both physically and in my heart, two different neighbors thought to make dinner for us.

So I decided, tentatively, to entertain the possibility that God, might after all, be love. I drove down the hill in the pouring rain to pick up some treats for the girls at the store and it seemed more plausible, although still not entirely convincing in my current mental frame.

In the midst of life that often feels like an endless series of problems to solve, some of the unsolvable, God is Love. He comes to us unexpectedly, through two wonderful meals and some dark chocolate chili covered dried mangoes, through a reassuring phone conversation. Through the hope I feel faintly tonight, that His love, will see me through clogged drains, shattered glass and all the loose ends in our lives that we're still struggling to fit together.

8 comments:

Valerie said...

Hope you are on the mend...it's so discouraging when everything seems to be falling apart at once...been there!

In the face of unraveling plans/dreams, it has helped me so much to delight in the good gifts that abundantly surround me this moment: family, friends...not to mention flowers and birdsong!

dancebythelight said...

Wow, your life sounds just like mine two weeks ago. Down to sickness and clogged drain! God really worked in my heart in the situation too. Hope you feel better soon and in the end you'll see God's love more clearly through it all.

Jaime said...

It's always so good to read your postings! Even when you are struggling I am moved by the beauty of your words and sentiments. We will pray for you. The first week of Lent can be so rough without anything falling apart.

Ser said...

I needed this post this first week of Lent where we have all been sick and have not attended ANY services. What a good reminder that we don't need to seek out asceticism, either. Life is enough.

I miss you and feel a stab of pain imagining other people bringing you food. That is MY JOB!

anna j said...

This is lovely, Jenny--and I would venture that the photo is actually quite fitting :-) It is also interesting--reassuring--to read that you are experiencing this. I have found myself continuously amazed lately at how consistently God is both whispering and ram-horning His Good presence into my life lately. I guess I should not be surprised; He does seem to delight in shining brightly when situations are at their darkest . . .

dancebythelight said...

Thanks for your kind words on my article. I'm glad the tone came across hopeful and gentle, that was my desire. I've not read anything by Geneen Roth, but will check her writing out. Thanks.

::Sylvia:: said...

Christ is Risen!

What an absolutely lovely blog! You will be in my prayers.

Ashleigh said...

Jenny, I'm catching up on my blogs and just read this. Thank you for being a reminder to me today, as your neighbors were to you back in March, that God is love. I was so touched that a friend thousands of miles away would take the time to send us coffee. I'm looking forward to drinking it and remembering with each cup that God is indeed love. :)